Emily is having a hard time in general. Starting Phase 4 and school within 72 hours of each other was tough enough, but she also knew that today's shot was coming, something she has been dreading literally for months. This morning she refused to go to school when she woke up. She wasn't sick, she was just down and didn't feel like going. Tracy and I both want her to go when she is physically able, so after some talking we got Emily to go to school. She only had to stay until 11:30, because today was shot day and her clinic appointment was at 12:30.
We arrived to the clinic on time, and they were ready for us. Emily had her vitals taken. Her blood pressure has increased due to the Dexamethasone but they didn't seem to be alarmed at all by it. We were then given a bed, and within 10 minutes Emily was getting the shot. Emily was squeezing a squeeze toy while blowing bubbles that a play therapist was holding, I was holding down her arms so she couldn't try to push the poor nurse, who was giving Emily the shot. Emily screamed so loud during the shot. I need to post a picture of this needle, its huge, even on adult standards it's huge, and they have to get it way down deep in her thigh muscle and then inject a very painful drug that stings her as it infuses into her muscle. She cried in pain for a good three minutes with all of us telling her how brave she was and that it was over. After the shot she turned off the TV and lay on her side away from us, and didn't want to talk. She acted very sad. I asked her what was up and she said she was really mad, mad that she has cancer and has to do all of this treatment. Emily is always so positive and up, I really didn't know how to deal with this new attitude. But then I remembered that I told her that I would be there to help her on her hardest days, and that we need to put on a good face for her, to help her through these next few weeks.
She is doing better now that we are home.
We don't have any big plans this weekend. Emily is due at the clinic next Monday, Wednesday and Friday for more treatments.
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9 comments:
Dear Chris and Tracy,
There are no words we can say to make this burden easier for you. We feel the pain you are feeling and for Emily especially. It's not fair that she should have to go through this and we wish we could lift this burden off her and allow her to have her little girl life back as it should be. If there is anything we can do, please let us know but we are thinking of you all each day and send our love always.
Love
Grampa and Grannie
This is so hard. No one, especially little ones, should have to go through this.
We cry today. We pray. We look forward to better days with hope. May God bless you all with many graces during this time and always.
Many prayers and love,
Auntie Diana ~^..^~ and Uncle Marty
We are so very sorry that Emily had such a painful day. She does look so very pretty in pink about to eat her chocolate cake. Chris and Tracy we are thinking of you, it must be so hard to see your baby going through all this. We are thinking of all of you and sending lots of hugs.
I am so sorry this shot is so terribly difficult. Sometimes nothing can make the hard times easier, they can only be tolerated. I'm just so sorry she has to go through something so very painful on a regular basis. :(
Hey Chris and Tracy- you are dealing with such difficult stuff - I cannot even imagine - but you are there with Emily and that is the best gift ever! Can't they give her some mild sedative before the shots - I know I did that just before some dental work that was stressing me out and I 'm sure it was nothing like what little Em has to endure...? Take care - thinking of you all!
Jessica, John etc ....
Oh gosh, I am so sorry Emily has to endure these shots and that you have to watch her go through it. It's good that she is able to express her emotions and share them with you. When I get mad over something, I do my best to gather all that energy up and try to focus it so that it can get me through whatever it is that got me so angry. I don't know if that makes any sense. All I know is that I don't think any of this is fair and wish there was more I could do for Emily. Sending up good thoughts for a happy weekend and sending lots of love & hugs your way. ~ Jane
We're mad, too, that Emily has to endure such pain. We are sad, too, that she has cancer, it is just so hard to deal with. But all of you have been so strong and will continue to be brave, even during the down times. We send our love and positive thoughts to all of you.
Love, Aunt Ann & Uncle Chris
Dear Family,
I am mad for Emily and oh so grateful she has parents and family with deep deep hearts to be with her through this intrusion and pain. Perhaps there is some sedative help to be had for the remaining three treatments? I send my love and best energy for peace of mind for your family and your medical team.
Barbara Fong
to be honest, i think it's incredibly positive that emily feels safe enough to vent to you and that she doesn't hold it deep inside. i can't even imagine how hard it would be to maintain such a positive outlook all the time. and yet, you all manage to do it. once again, you humble me.
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